I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names.What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!A closed mouth gathers no foot.The trouble with life is there's no background music.If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.When blondes have more fun do they know it?What happens if you get scared half to death twice?Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.Zero to bitch in 10 secondsI don't discriminate, I hate everyone!Life is like a bowl of cherries, and I'm in the pits!Can't sleep, clown will eat me; Can't sleep, clown will eat. I figured I had nothing to lose. I had been alone for so long, I needed to kick myself out of my funk somehow or other.I vowed to approach any attractive woman that I saw and let her know that I found her attractive. I expected to receive my share of rejection but I was bound and determined to give it a serious try for a while. I tried to think of it mathematically. If I approached 10 attractive women I was sure that 9 of them would deflect me one way or the other, but then maybe the tenth one would give me a chance. I felt the odds were better than what I had been trying in the past.I was in the grocery store. A lovely blonde woman was there and we kept bumping into each other. I tried to think positive and approached her.“I just wanted to say, I think you’re a very attractive woman.”She smiled at me warmly.“Thank You sir, I’ll let my husband know that you thought so.”I smiled back at her. “He’s a lucky man. Have a nice day.”We went our separate ways.That wasn’t so bad, I thought to.
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